Hedwig The Human
by Dante Pierre
Summary: Sequel to The Adventures of Potter The Turtle. Ron's transfiguration practice goes wrong and ends up turning Hedwig into, you guessed it, a human!
1. Life Isn't Fair

**A/N:**

**We/I do not own the Harry Potter series or anything or anyone from it.**

**This has taken me forever to finally get out, but here it is! The Sequel to Potter the Turtle!**

**I would suggest that if you haven't read Potter the Turtle to read it, simply because you might not understand some of what is going on at first, but whatever. This series was just meant to be funny, light and slightly cracky (but you'll be the judge of that I guess). On that note, I have to apologize for the tone of this chapter, as it is most definitely not funny (at least I don't think so), but it needed to be covered, so yah.**

**Also as a heads up, although I'm sure you've already already figured this out, this is non-canon. Mostly in the sense that a lot of characters that should have died already are not dead. And there are new characters. And _they_ are dead. But just in general it's all very non-canon. :)**

**Please review! :D**

**Without anymore rambling, I give you the first chapter!**

**~Dante Pierre**

* * *

Seamus Finnigan sat in the Headmaster's office, wishing he could shrink down to the size of a mouse and scurry away. Three of the scariest staff members at Hogwarts were currently staring at him, and he could feel their stern, angry gazes practically burning into his skin.

Professor Snape was a given. He carried a reputation as the most frightening teacher at Hogwarts. Only a few choice Slytherins were spared his hatred and cruel punishments, but he wasn't the one Seamus was the most afraid of at the moment. It wasn't even Headmaster Dumbledore, who could be one scary man when he chose to be, that made Seamus want to curl up into a ball and sob.

No, it was the Deputy Headmistress, head of the Gryffindor house, Professor Minerva McGonagall.

Her stern, disapproving, even disgusted look was what really hit home.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Finnegan?" Her cold voice cut through the air, sharp and controlled. Seamus could tell it was taking all her effort not to start yelling.

"I-I." Seamus stuttered

"Well, spit it out boy." Snape cut in, impatient as usual.

"He deserved it!" Seamus blurted out, finding his voice, "That fucking Death Eater-"

"-Mr. Finnegan!-"

"-deserved that and more! A dementor's kiss isn't enough of a punishment for Merlin's sake. He bloody well deserves to rot in Hell!"

"Mr. Finnegan, how could you say something like that of another student?! You are a disgrace to your house, to me, to this school, and to your family! Mr. Malfoy made mistakes, as have we all, but lashing out the way you and your two friends did was utterly wrong and completely unforgivable. I expected so much more of you three. You are adults, you must start behaving like it!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed before calming down. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"I would have you, Mr. Smith and Mr. Boot all expelled effective immediately. Unfortunately, that is not my place." Minerva looked to Dumbledore, but the old wizard said nothing.

A few moments passed in silence before Dumbledore sighed and finally did speak.

"It saddens me, that after everything this school went through, we still can't work together. We still fight each other constantly."

Seamus looked at him flabbergasted, starting to feel less and less like a scared little boy.

"Work together? You want us to work together? He's the reason the Death Eaters got into the school! People died because of that!" Seamus cried.

"I understand you lost family, your sister Donna, we all have lost our share of loved ones, but that is no excuse for what you did. Mr. Malfoy was put on trial, as you recall." Dumbledore reminded him.

"Trial? So what! Nothing came out of that!"

"I do not wish to argue with you. The war is over Mr. Finnegan, as are the trials. You, Mr. Boot and Mr. Smith will have to answer to the Ministry. You are all adults and will be held responsible for your actions."

The room was silent once more as the three professors watched Seamus, waiting for some sort of reply.

"She was just a little girl, Donna. A third year." Seamus whispered, pausing for a moment before continuing.

"Zach lost his girlfriend you know, and Terry his little brother. It wasn't fair."

"War is not fair, life is not fair, Mr. Finnegan." Dumbledore replied softly.

"No, it's not. Donna, Sophie and Marcus all died when that worthless, pathetic bastard let the Death Eaters into the school. And he's not in Azkaban, Hell, he wasn't even punished for that! That's what isn't fair!" Seamus was shouting now. He stood up and continued yelling, his voice getting louder and louder, spit flying for his mouth.

"They died, victims, and nothing happens to the criminal! YOU DID NOTHING! MALFOY WASN'T EVEN EXPELLED FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!"

Snape moved to defend the actions of the Ministry and school, as did McGonagall, but Dumbledore waved them down with one hand. He looked at Seamus with a sad, pitiful look, a look you would give a wounded animal about to be put down. Another sigh escaped the Headmaster's mouth.

"Mr. Finnegan, I do not believe I can make myself any clearer on the matter. We will speak of this no more. You will wait outside my office until a member of staff is available to escort you to the Ministry. Mr. Smith and Mr. Boot will both face the same consequences once they have regained consciousness."

Seamus left the room, numbly awaiting his judgment. He would probably end up in Azkaban over one stupid spell, and all the while Malfoy would still be walking free. Life really wasn't fair.


	2. The Sneaky Prat

**A/N:**

**We/I own nothing.**

**If you don't like Drarry, bear with me, this will be the only Drarry chapter.**

**If this seems very random, then you could try reading Potter the Turtle, this is the last chapter that will make minimal sense if you didn't already read the turtle one.**

**Hedwig will be in the next chapter, I promise! :D**

**Enjoy and please review!**

**~Dante Pierre**

* * *

Harry was nervous. What if Malfoy didn't come? He probably wouldn't. In fact the snarky bastard was probably sitting in his dorm with all his friends making fun of Harry right now.

He had left a letter for Malfoy in hopes that, well, he actually didn't know why. It had been a spur of the moment kind of thing, it had just felt right.

Harry huffed out a sigh.

When the blond finally did arrive, Harry was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice. Malfoy snuck up behind him and was able to stand there for a good thirty seconds without being seen. When Harry did finally turn around, but only to come face to face with Malfoy. He most definitely didn't shriek like a seven year-old girl. More like a four year-old girl.

Malfoy just raised one elegant eyebrow and stared at him with a look of distaste. Harry couldn't help but think about how Malfoy was the only person he knew that could pull off that face and still look incredibly sexy.

"I didn't see you there." Harry muttered, embarrassed about his outburst.

"Then maybe you should get those ridiculous-looking, hideously round things checked out." The blond drawled.

"Ridiculous-looking, hideous... oi! I'll have you know I happen to be very fond of my glasses."

"Why am I not surprised."

Harry shook his head. This was really a bad idea. Harry was about to ask Malfoy why he had decided to come, when he remembered exactly what he had scrawled on that letter.

_I managed to grab Boot's and Smith's wands._

Harry rummaged through his pockets searching, but honestly, it shouldn't have been that hard to find two wands. Where were they? Harry could have sworn he had them two minutes ago.

"Loose something?" The familiar drawl shook him out of his thoughts. Harry looked at Malfoy, and heaved a sigh. Of course. The sneaky prat.

Malfoy stood there, his features schooled into those of angelic innocence.

"C'mon Malfoy. Give them back."

Malfoy just stared at him some more.

"Give what back?"

"The wands. I know you have them."

"You mean these wands? But you said I could have them." Draco inquired, holding out not two, but three wands.

"What? How did you-oi! That's my wand you've got there too. Give it back! You can have the other ones, but give mine back!" Harry exclaimed. He reached for his wand, but at the last second Malfoy pulled all three back and held them up above his head. Damn it. Malfoy had at least two inches on him. A hint of mischief sparkled in the blonde's eyes. The bloody prat.

"Malfoy. Give it back. Now."

"You want it? Get it yourself." All innocence had left the Slytherin's face, leaving behind a playful smirk. _Wait, playful?_ What had gotten into Malfoy? Nevertheless the sod had his wand and Harry wanted it back.

"I'm not jumping for it, you prat. Give it." Harry said sternly.

Malfoy's smirk just widened.

"And why won't you jump for it? Oh that's right! You're too short!" Malfoy said gleefully, obviously enjoying the fact that he was taller than Harry. Wrong move.

With a growl, Harry practically pounced on the blond, knocking him down to the ground. Boot's wand skittered away and rolled up against a wall, and they wrestled for the other two wands.

At first Malfoy got the upper hand, he was stronger than he looked. He kneed Harry in the side and rolled the two of them over so that he was on top. The two tussled for a bit, and Harry finally managed to push Malfoy off balance for a moment. Harry took the opportunity and within a matter of seconds had the blond pinned under him again. The sky was getting rather dark. They kept at it, fighting each other, but never with the intention of actually hurting each other. Finally, Harry managed to grab hold one. And then Malfoy pushed him down and rolled on top of him once more. Smith's wand ended up on the floor next to Boot's.

A few minutes later the two of them were lying, panting, on the ground next to each other, Harry's wand still in Malfoy's grip. Fortunately, Malfoy's wand was also in Harry's hand.

"Truce?" Harry panted.

"Wimping out already, Potter?" Draco teased.

And so the fight began again.

Finally, it ended. Malfoy was on the ground, his wrists pinned down next to his head by Harry, who was currently sitting on top of him. Both their wands had been discarded to the side at one point and now lay there, forgotten.

"So much for wimping out. I win." Harry panted.

"Fine. Now get off me." Malfoy demanded.

"Nuh huh."

The blond raised an eyebrow.

"Nuh huh? Get off me you big oaf!"

"Not until you say it." Harry announced smugly.

"And what exactly do I have to say?" Asked Malfoy exasperatedly.

"That I win."

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"I swear, the size of your Gryffindor-ish ego. Fine. You win. There. Now get off."

"Nope." Harry replied.

"What do you mean nope. I said what you asked me too, now get off!" Malfoy exclaimed, struggling in vain against Harry's grip.

"I win so I get a prize." Harry announced, surprising himself as much as he surprised Malfoy. The blond stopped struggling and raised an eyebrow.

"A prize." Malfoy commented dryly.

"Yes." Harry said, not quite as confidently as he had earlier. He had absolutely no idea where he was going with this.

Malfoy let out a sigh.

"What do you want, Potter." He muttered, slightly annoyed. Slightly annoyed yet still beautiful... Harry's thoughts went back to where they had been earlier on and then Harry knew what he wanted.

"This." He whispered, leaning down so that his face was only inches apart from Malfoy's.

"Potter?" Malfoy asked, the slightest bit of panic creeping into his throat. Harry imagined the blond would probably hit him for what he was about to do.

Oh well.

Without another second's worth of hesitation, Harry brought his lips down onto Malfoy's, who in turn froze. It was just a short kiss. A peck on the lips, but as Harry pulled away, he was absolutely sure that he had the most embarrassing blush. He didn't particularly care. He'd finally done it. He'd kissed Malfoy.

Malfoy stared at him, eyes wide with shock. Harry released the Slytherin's wrists and braced himself for a punch to the nose. It didn't come. Instead two hands grabbed at the sides of Harry's face and pulled him down into another kiss.

At first Harry was surprised, but that didn't stop him from returning the kiss almost instantly. This kiss lasted much longer than the last. Their lips fit together perfectly, as if kissing was the most natural thing in the world for them to do.

The kiss quickly became more and more heated. Malfoy rolled them over, and Harry's hands tangled in the blond's hair. Someone groaned, but at this point Harry really couldn't be bothered to care whom.

It was Malfoy that finally broke the kiss off.

The moon had come out, Harry noticed as he looked up at Malfoy, and it made his blond tousled hair seem to glow. Malfoy rolled off of him and the two just laid there, panting and staring up at the starry sky in comfortable silence.


End file.
